What you see in others is often a reflection of yourself

Have you read that line before? What you see in others is often a reflection of yourself. 

Everyone wants to change something about themselves. Maybe they want to lose weight, get a different job, grow their hair out or cut it short, dress a little spicier, be kinder, laugh more, yell less… the list can go on and on. What you may not realize is that often when we are looking for a change in ourselves, we look to others who are already doing what we so desire.

Opposites do attract for a reason. My husband and I could not be more opposite of one another. And yet I believe that is what attracts me to him. It is a balanced feeling.

For girlfriends, I often long for people who are creative, self-confident, and just plain cool. Funny thing is that is what I want to have more of for myself.

I have been reading a tiny habits book. How to make changes in small chunks. In order for us to make any change, we have to have the motivation and ability to make it happen. And when our motivation and ability are both in alignment, we typically can make the change.

But when that motivation is low (need to do the dishes) but the ability is high (just need to get off my computer and do it), I am likely not going to make the change in the habit. Instead, I need to prompt myself in a way that helps.

What if I write this post and allow myself to check this task as done – now I am feeling good about having a task done so my motivation is going to change. Now it is high because I am tired of looking at all the dirty dishes. And my ability is still high because I have everything I need (including my to-do list) checked off.

How about eating healthy this week. What is my motivation for that? Well, it is Sunday so my motivation is quite high. I have spent the weekend allowing myself a few treats so I am feeling quite rewarded. My ability to eat well this week is also high because I have made plenty of food ahead and the prep work is done. So my motivation is high, my ability is high and my prompt is there because it is in the fridge. Odds are in my favor here.

What habit do you want to try for this week? Reading this book, it suggests tiny habit changes. I could have said above I am focusing on looking 20 pounds. But instead, I am breaking it down into just this week. What change can I make just this week – what time habit can I make for myself.

So what are you longing for in yourself? What tiny habit can you work through to get you there? Having an accountability partner makes quite the difference. Let’s chat – I would love to help you.

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