Birthdays bring with them a desire to reflect. And since I am turning 46 today, I thought it might be an excellent opportunity to share my top 3 life lessons with you. I can only pray that I will get another 46 years and the ability to learn more lessons. However, today I am leaning into these three life lessons – change the lens, listen to the whispers, and assume good intent.
Lesson 1 – Change the Lens
My brain is a visual one. Reading a book and remembering what I read is tricky for me. It always has been. I learn better through visual means, and if you give me an analogy that sticks, it is a winner winner chicken dinner!
When I first started life coaching school, I was fresh off the result of a company restructure. I was in the process of continually pulling my hair out, trying to get an interview ANYWHERE! It was beyond frustrating and highly depressing.
I arrived at my life coaching school with an optimistic yet victim-feeling undertone. Losing my job was a hard pill for me to swallow. While I was aware it happened for reasons that had nothing to do with me, I am still human and took it personally.
But that first weekend, when the trainer said changing your energy is as easy as changing your lens; I got it. Clear as day. I was looking through the wrong lens of my career. The lens of being a victim to a downsize was not serving me or giving me any movement. It was leaving me feeling apathetic and just plain exhausted.
Once I changed my glasses and looked through a new lens, opportunities started appearing around me. Our energy is a powerful thing. It is why every one of my clients starts off taking the Get Unstuck assessment. It allows us to see how they are resonating energetically on a typical day and when under stress.
Nothing gets done when we are sitting in a stressful space. This new information allowed me to see myself as someone who lost my job and was blessed with some time to figure out my next steps instead of a corporate restructure victim. Lucky for me, severance and unemployment were part of my package, and that helped ease the financial strain.
Lesson 2 – Listen to the Whispers
How many times have we heard of trusting the process? I know, it’s annoying. Yet, it is also entirely accurate. Pausing and allowing the whispers and more profound learnings to sink in is a huge part of growth. Taking the time and slowing down your mind will enable you to hear things it would have missed if it was in overdrive.
When I lost my job, I kept hearing about life coaching. It was showing up in everyone from co-workers to close friends. I ignored so many of the conversations, yet it wouldn’t leave me. I knew or thought I knew that I needed to keep working in marketing and find a job in that field. But once I let the curiosity sink in and decided to learn more, the stars started to align right in front of me.
I admit I can be a bit stubborn. But life coaching school taught me a different approach, and I can honestly say that lesson has changed how I show up now in all areas of my life. I am open to so many more opportunities. I welcome them, and I look for them. Instead of assuming I can’t do that job or don’t know enough about that career, I change the lens, listen to those who mentor me, and move forward.
This trait is also a great one that I share with my clients. So many of them show up with horse blinders on. They think since they are this age or don’t have this skill set, they are stuck. Once they turn their curiosity on and start listening to not only our conversations but to the whispers around them, they too adjust. Life lessons are truly happening all the time if we become awake enough to listen to them.
Lesson 3 – Assume Good Intent
I recently had a post on LinkedIn reach over 160,000 views. It was about connecting with those that you don’t know. Lending a helping hand to someone else and being a helping hand in return.
For the most part, I heard only positive feedback. But one comment I received kind of set me back. It was something that I think I would have perhaps said years ago, but now that I have changed the lens, I can see it differently.
We all get tired of the constant salespeople. The ones that are always trying to get us to sign up for their program and buy their product. I, too, receive those messages and calls every day. I can honestly say now I read some of their sales pitches. What if they have something that might be interesting or beneficial to either me down the road? What if they have a job opportunity to share with my connections that might lead them to a new dream job?
I am assuming good intent for the most part, and it has eased my stress. I give people the benefit of the doubt and believe they want to help me or someone I know. Their services might not be of interest to me now, but you never know down the road.
This approach is energizing vs. annoying. And that, in turn, creates opportunities. Those opportunities can lead to connections and positions that never would have presented themselves to me if I would have been wearing the horse blinders.
I encourage you all to pause and reflect on your big three life lessons. What would you say or share with others? These past 46 years have taught me big lessons. Sometimes I can’t fathom that there is still more to learn. And then something or someone new comes along, and boom, another great lesson.
If you are looking to find your dream career and have no clue how to get started, let’s connect. There is no reason to feel alone and overwhelmed. Perhaps some of my lessons will be helpful ones for you to consider as well.